Archive | Relationships RSS feed for this section

Another Change!

11 Feb

WOW – “There is nothing permanent except change.”  Heraclitus

Dear Sweetie –

You’ve probably noticed that, once again, I’ve changed the name of my blog.  What is with you, Grandma!  Perhaps it’s too much coffee.  Or perhaps my life is changing at record speed and I need a way to talk about it.

As many of my loyal followers know (total zero) I began this column as a cooking column in an attempt to encourage healthy eating.  One of my friends read it while consuming large bowls of M&M’s.  Come on you guys!  You all know what healthy eating looks like and you’re all strong enough to put on your big boy/girl pants, depending on your fashion preference, and do what’s right.

Then I morphed this column into babble.  Blah Blah Blah.  That got tiring even to me.  All the while, however, I’ve been writing delightful and amusing letters (my bias) to friends and grandkids.  I loved doing it and they loved getting them, which they assured me of at Christmas  as they lined up to get their holiday card with twenty bucks in it.  It was also a way to stay connected, spew facts about my insignificant life, pseudo journal, and give the kids enough ammunition for a future sanity hearing.  Oh what fun!

And so I’m morphing this blog into a “Dear Sweetie” letter format.  As you can see, the quote at the top of the blog is preceded by WOW, which stands for Words of Wisdom.  Obviously, these are not my words but some quote that has meaning in light of the words that follow, or not.

For those of you who are slow readers rest assured that I’m typing this slowly to accommodate you.  Please feel free to comment, share this with your friends (both of them), and examine your own exciting life.  For you know what they say about the unexamined life.  We’ll get into that later.

Loveya – The Grandma

 

 

Two Choices

28 Dec

“Life is short.  Jingle your bells.”  Eleanor Brownn

The above quote hasn’t got a lot to do with the subject  of this post but I like the quote so you’re stuck with it.  This post is actually about choices.

My husband got home very late from work and needed to sleep in.  (Yes, this will lead to great information about choices.)  I wanted him to get up before noon.  At a little past 10:30 I went into the bedroom and asked him if he were still asleep.  A version of ask a stupid question.  Yes, Virginia, there are such things as stupid questions.

He grunted.  I told him it was important that he help me make a decision.  I had to go to a neighboring town and pick up some pizzas and if he wanted to come with me we could stop at one of his favorite places for lunch and then go up the block from the restaurant to a chocolate shop for sundaes and then pick up the pizzas, or, I could throw together some lunch at home and then we could go for sundaes and pick up the pizzas.

My husband said that if I were a character in a book I would be a temptress.  I smiled.  No matter what his choice I was going to get, at the least, an ice cream sundae after lunch.  A great sundae, may I add.  He opted for door one.  The lunch items at home could be put away for tomorrow.  

Moral of the story – when giving people choices make sure that either choice is a win for you.  That’s a real win-win.  Or as our pastor said to me, “You are shameless!”

Loveya – The Grandma

 

The Monday Message

23 Sep

 

 

“If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily.” Gerald Good

My husband and I have been married for 30 years.  The thrill is gone.  The comfort lingers on.

And along the way I forgot to have fun, until one evening I overheard a couple in a restaurant.  They seemed to be about in the 80’s.  When the waitress asked the woman if she wanted another glass of wine her husband said, “Don’t give her one.  She’ll get wild.”  “Oh, you like it when I’m wild,” she answered.  He smiled and winked at her.

OMG!  They remember to have fun.  I used to have fun until I started taking our relationship “seriously”.  What’s with that, I began to ask myself.

Not in the mood to rent a clown suit to spice up our marriage I opted for technology.  I decided that every Monday morning I’d email my husband, from my computer downstairs to his computer upstairs, and thank him for something.  This last week I thanked him for taking me and two of my friends out on our pontoon.  Just a short, to the point, thank you.  “You’re welcome,” he replied.  “There’s more where that came from.”

And then this last time we were out for dinner he followed me to my side of the car when we left the restaurant.  What’s with that! I wondered.  After 30 years he opened the car door for me.  Is this a changed life mightily?  It’s a lovely life.  Thank you.

Loveya – The Grandma

Define Nice

31 Aug

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  Oliver Platt

My son recently moved into his own apartment.  Details of the move are unimportant except to say that I was invited to assist and got to carry dresser drawers and boxes filled with his life.

The important thing about the move, as I saw it, is that it marked the beginning of a new phase of his life.  It was a “begin again” move.  And in some people’s eyes it might be seen as a step down.  His new dwelling is a small space of only two rooms and and an unlit storage locker.  Laundromat is three blocks away.  No garage.

When relating the news to a friend she asked if his new place was nice.  I asked her to define nice. “You know, a clean bathroom and a lovely, functional kitchen area.”  I asked her for another definition of nice.  She asked if it was simply a space that a man on his own would use to sleep in.  That was closer to the truth, yet I think it will finally feel like a home to him.

And then there was my reaction.  I was so envious.  I’ve lately been craving to downsize.  I’ve discussed this with my husband and we’ve agreed that in two years we’re going to look for a smaller home.  Probably in a town with amenities within walking distance.  He suggested we move into the country and I reminded him that we’re fast approaching the age where the kids might rescind our driving privileges.  Living in the country might lose some of its charm.

But whatever the future holds, I know that there can always be a “begin again”.  And by working with the bits of wisdom that have come to me over the years, I’m looking forward to those times!

Loveya – The Grandma

And Then There Are The Parents

17 Jun

“Every life has value.”

Last night I was together with a group of my lady friends.  I shared with them the story of my granddaughter’s recent wedding.  My granddaughter is loving and committed to her goals of being a dynamic partner to her new husband and a professional childcare worker.  I showed my friends a picture of the bride and groom with her siblings – all ten of them.

You see, after my son and his wife had three children of their own they started to take in foster kids with special needs.  Some physical, some mental, and some emotional.  They ended up adopting 8, to bring the number up to 11.  There is another young lady who just arrived.  Soon there might be 12.  

 My lady friends know a lot about my son and his life and my grandkids.  And yet, for some reason, the conversation veered off onto the subject of kids with special needs.  There was not much kindness in their observations.

R&Z

My beautiful daughter-in-law and one of their special daughters

They started decrying the fact that those kinds of kids are being mainstreamed into our school system and are gumming up the works.  And what are they learning!  One of the women stated that the system might be better off with these kids out of there but then they’d have to be home with their parents.  “And the parents!” she said, rolling her eyes to indicate what she was certain that the whole world understands about the parents.

“You can’t control these kids and you’re not allowed to touch them if they get out of control,” someone said.  “Same with normal kids,” I said.  “Some of them get out of control.”  A few grunts of agreement.

I guess I’ll just have to write off their attitudes to the fact that they were drinking.  Experts seems to bloom with enough alcohol.  And soon enough they were on the topic of a lady in our town that they all disliked, a lot.  Maybe I should re-think my group of friends.

Loveya – The Grandma

 

 

He Was Black

25 May

“Naivety is the sister of innocence and the cousin of stupidity.”  Pierre Decourcelle

On Memorial Day I was with a group of people who were sharing gratitude for service women and men when someone shared that he had been in Vietnam for a year and understood why soldiers were told not to make close friends while in combat.  “I had this close friend, he was black, a really nice guy, who got killed…”  Didn’t hear the rest of his share as I was busy wondering why he felt it necessary to tell us that the man was black and a really nice guy,

I was tempted to jump in and share, “I have this really good friend who lives in Milwaukee.  She’s white, but a really nice woman…”  But then I didn’t know exactly what I could share about her that would fit into the Memorial Day conversation.  And anyway, I didn’t feel in the mood to play Poke the Bear.

Our book club recently read “The Cellist of Sarajevo” in which the author, Steven Galloway, wanted people to consider how we react to others.  “As individuals,” Galloway said, “we’re very careful about whom we choose to love.  We don’t typically let governments and huge corporations tell us who to love and when they try to, we become very suspicious.  We are not as parsimonious about hatred,” he said.

In other words, we allow government and other groups tell us who we’re supposed to hate.  This is an easy way to get people to participate in wars.  And this hate is generally dished up to us as groups that we should hate, such as blacks or Muslims or Iraqis.  And they are dished up to us in groups because when we get to know people as individuals we are more likely to see our similarities rather than our differences.  I find it harder to dislike people who are like me. 

I highly recommend “The Cellist of Sarajeevo”.  I also recommend inserting the color of anyone you speak of into conversations.  This might make people uncomfortable.  They might also wonder if you’re going off the deep end.  They also might start to become uncomfortable when someone feels compelled to tell them, “He was black.”

Loveya – The Grandma

Come Follow Me

2 Apr

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing.  If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”  Groucho Marx

crop circles

Alien Porch Circles

The above is a picture of Alien Porch Circles, a recent phenomena in my yard.  They occur every time I spend a day doing a massive amount of cooking.  I think it’s the aroma of food that wafts up into space and lures the aliens to earth.  Just kidding!

Actually the circles occur when I do a massive amount of cooking because I don’t have a large enough fridge to hold all the pots so I set them outside in a snowbank to cool before I divide the soup or stew into smaller plastic containers for the freezer.  I’m not just a pretty face!

And I could not, in good conscience, perpetuate such a bending of the truth without eventually coming clean.  Not even on April first, which you’ll notice I missed.  But by only one day.

Which brings up another question.  I supposedly have over 70 followers to my blog.  Mysteriously, I generally don’t have any visitors to my blog, which is OK.  I’m doing this blog in order to have a giggle, share recipes, or to rant about something trivial.  This keeps the rants out of the ears of my family and friends.  We all know how much we love listening to people rant!

I wonder, however, why I get notices of people who think one of my posts was pretty awesome and maybe I should go and see what they’re up to!  This, sometimes, gets me to go look at their blog and voila, they have a visitor.  Meanwhile, I sit all alone by the telephone…  Oh, wait.  That was a lament from my younger days.  Actually, I’ll be in my art studio playing with paint.  And I might visit your blog if I see that you truly visited mine. Integrity, people!

Loveya – The Grandma