Archive | February, 2015

Robert’s Ball

20 Feb

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Neale Donald Walsch

I know.  I was swearing off recipes and now they come flooding in.  And your first question might be why I named this recipe as I did.  Because I want it to go viral.  Duh!

This is actually a recipe for energy balls which my friend, Robert, shared with me.  And as you will see from the recipe, Robert is a man who likes choices.

RoB

INGREDIENTS:

3 cups (dry) oatmeal (I used the old-fashioned oats)

1 cup unsweetened shredded unsweetened coconut (optional)

1 cup peanut butter (can substitute almond butter)

1 cup any kind of chopped nuts (optional)

1 cup dried fruit (I like cranberries, blueberries or cherries) (optional)

1 dark chocolate bar (optional)

1/2 cup agave or honey

1 cup melted coconut oil (optional)

1 t vanilla

1 t cinnamon (optional)

1 ripe banana (optional)

DESTRUCTIONS:

You could melt the coconut oil peanut butter, and chocolate in a double boiler.  Or you can just use chocolate pieces, leave out the coconut oil, and skip the melting step.  (Robert!  Take a stand!)

Stir all ingredients together in a medium bowl.  Cover and allow to chill in the refrigerator for about an hour.  Robert’s directions say half an hour but that’s not nearly enough time to obsess over whether you left out or put in the correct amount of optional ingredients, which are over half the recipe.

One chilled (the ingredients, not you) roll into balls about 1 inch in diameter.  Store in an airtight container and keep refrigerated for up to one week.  If you have trouble forming balls periodically wet your hands.

MY SIDE OF THE STREET

I used a gluten free granola that had all sorts of stuff in it because I had that in the house.  Be careful, if you’re on a gluten free diet, about the oatmeal.  Oatmeal is not always gluten free.  Make sure the brand you purchase specifies.

I used almond butter because I generally don’t eat peanuts.  I didn’t have any chocolate bar or chocolate pieces in the house so I added some cocoa powder.  It worked beautifully.  I didn’t add vanilla, which can now be listed as optional.  Nor did I use cinnamon or a banana.  The earth continued to spin on its axis.

I added some raisins to mine.  Robert thinks that raisins are pathetic.  It’s like discussing religion with that man when you start talking about his balls!  Did I say that out loud?  Whatever.

Loveya – The Grandma

Getting Lazy?

12 Feb

“When I see lovers’ names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute.  I just think it’s strange how many people carry knives on dates.”  Anon

I’d like to talk about names.  Not people names, but I do love the above quote.  I want to talk about the names of lipsticks and nail polish.  I wear #44.  Oh, yes, the lipstick does have a real name made up of words. It’s Cinnamon Spice.  But the words are in a small font and the generation that wears the darker shades of lipstick are of an age where reading small fonts is a thing of the past and bright lips are needed to make the face seem alive.  

 My fondest lipstick name is Cherries in the Snow. All my friends and I wore it when we were pretty young things and it’s still available!  It’s also, besides its given name, known as #440.  I think I must purchase some as my lucky number is 44.  It seems like a sign.

Anyway, if we go simply numeric on lipsticks, which might appeal to the computer generation, what are we going to do with all the people who sit around and think up those clever names like Monkey Breath and Bahama Bananas?  Will they still fill boardrooms debating whether a particular color should be called #370 or #99?  Put me on the list for a job like that.  I can debate trivia as well the next person.

LipSt

My Friends, including #44

Loveya – The Grandma

Dining for Dumbies

10 Feb

“The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork.”  Oscar Wilde

 

This is something I’ve been dying to get off of my chest, besides that certain bra that rides up under my arms.  It’s about dining out at a tablecloth restaurant, which can make some people a bit nervous.  This is a restaurant where you know you should tip 20%.

As I work at such an establishment, I’d like to offer a few tips that might make you dining experience stress free and more enjoyable.

First, if you are about to embark on such an experience and don’t quite know what the ground rules are, simply embody nobility as you walk in the door.  Ask yourself, “What would the queen do?”  This may sound a bit over the top but it really isn’t and you’ll soon see how this works.

First of all a) – The queen would never re-arrange the table or turn glasses upside-down or slouch.  That’s a good start for good restaurant behavior.  Note – everything is placed on the table at a certain place for a reason.   The little plate to the left of your fork or forks is your bread plate.  Guess what it’s used for?  Leave it there.

Unfortunately, some people move their bread plate to the empty space in front of them and when the waitperson comes to the table with share plates (served with appetizers) or salads (if the appetizer course is being skipped) there’s no empty space in front of the guest to place the additions, i.e. share plates or salads.

Also, if you’re not going to have wine and there are wine glasses on the table there’s no need to turn your glass upside-down.  I’ve never seen a waitstaff physically restrain a guest and pour wine down their throats.

Also, when the waitperson comes to take your order do not say, “Could I have…”  Oftentimes I answer, “No.”  The key word is order.   You are giving an order, which should begin with the words “I’d like,” followed by your wish, such as, “the eel lips with mocha lime puree,” or something like that.  Oh, I am on a roll, which goes on the bread plate to the left of your forks.

When you’re finished with your entree do not stack dishes, place your napkin on the soiled plate, or pass things to the waitperson as they’re clearing the table.  You are royalty being served, remember?  If a waitperson asks you to pass your plates immediately deduct 5% from their tip.  You earned it.

Dessert.  When the waitperson asks if anyone would like dessert have the courage to have dessert without taking a poll at the table.  “Are you going to have dessert?”  “I don’t know.  Are you going to have dessert?”  This can go on for a small eternity while the fat person in the group is desperate to have someone order dessert so they feel they have permission to order dessert.

Dessert a)  Remember the Titanic and all the ladies on board who didn’t order dessert because they wanted to look good when they got off the boat.  Enough said.

Loveya – The Grandma

 

Apology, Sort Of

4 Feb

“You can only give what you are…”  Richard Rohr

Don’t think the above quote has anything to do with today’s entry into my blogdom, but I like the quote so you’re stuck with it.

Today I need to talk about my continuing work toward a tidy house.  (See Jan 9 blog entry)  Most every drawer and closet are now looking their best.  Left to do is my art studio, which will take a bonfire to finish properly.

And then there are all the items (hundreds) that grace my house.  Mugs and artificial flowers and knick knack paddy whacks.  It’s now time to take each in hand, ask the magic question whether the item brings me joy, and on that criteria alone, decide its fate. Three large bags of such items now sit in the kitchen awaiting their trip to the thrift store.

And so I apologize in advance to those of you who’ve given me one-of-a-kind treasures (such as mugs with pithy sayings), may visit in the future, and find them gone.  This is not a reflection on your taste.  It’s simply a reflection on my state of mind at this time.

At some later date will I wake up and lament, “Why did I get rid of that mug that said, ‘It’s either me or the house.  Only one of us is going to look good’.”  Probably not.  

And what did I keep?  A rock.  A cutting board.  And a teapot I made in an art class many years ago.  They bring me joy.  Especially the teapot which generally brings about guffaws when people see it.  For some reason that’s never bothered me.  I love my little teapot, short and stout.

TPot

Like a child that didn’t turn out exactly like the other kids on the block.  Gotta love it!